wednesday. october first. like a clean sheet of paper, a sea of creamy white, my new month's document lies ready and waiting. i had made the decision when i woke up to avoid the meloncholy i slept with.

then i started reading the news.

>Starving North Koreans are turning to cannibalism to survive and
>officials have executed people for selling human flesh, the South
>China Morning Post said Wednesday. The paper quoted a North Korean
>military officer who fled across the China-North Korea border with
>his family saying he saw people executed in his village for
>cannibalism. "People are going insane with hunger. They even kill and
>eat their own infants. This kind of thing is happening in many
>places," the officer said. Another ethnic Korean reportedly said she
>heard a woman was executed in August for murdering 18 children in
>Hamhung.

>A boy last seen Saturday selling candy house-to-house in a quiet New
>Jersey neighborhood was found strangled Tuesday, police said. The
>body of 11-year-old Edward Werner was discovered in a wooded area. He
>was reported missing Saturday when he did not return home from
>selling Halloween candy to raise money for his school. He was seen
>reportedly bragging about his sales prowess and showing off more than
>$200 he had with him. Volunteers and police officers with dogs
>searched for the boy and concentrated their efforts Monday in the
>wooded area after finding a piece of his clothing. The local school
>administration suspended further fundraising sales.

and so on.

what more is there to say, really? evil is there in front of us, every day. waiting for us when we wake up; when we turn the streetcorner or lift the telephone from its cradle. deliver us, lord, from the evil in our hearts; not from the evil without... but the evil within.

brad discussed horn honking; "I've found that women and men with beards are the worst... the problem is that if I try to be mean with this horn--" An extended squeak emitted from the hood of the hyundai. "People just laugh. 'Ohhhh, that's so sweet!'"

the day went well -- got almost thirty audits done, woo woo! spent the day camped out in arlan's cube and we talked when he came in sometimes.

Kristin stopped in late at night; she's falling, she thinks, for a friend of hers from school who 'isn't into the girlfrind-boyfriend thing. at first i chuckled; i mean, this could be my sort of guy, right? not quite. hebelieves in 'casual encounters' she says... being with whoever he wants without the commitment of an an 'official' relationship. but he's not interested in her, she says (lucky girl). 'he can do a lot better,' she sighed. I blinked an inquired what she meant... apparently, she is lamenting her lack of beauty to draw him in. that set me off, and i'm not quite sure what i said after that point. something involving, 'why the hell are you letting this insensitive, immature ass jerk you around?'

i don't think i'm the most clear headedwhen it comes to these things.