a nice day, with crisp air and just enough sun. i slung my cds into my backpack and biked off to work. things to do, people to see, software to install! I slammed 8.5 into the imac and the office was oohing and aaaahing at subtle little things for the rest of the day.

i found myself closing my eyes during the day, pretending to rub them but really trying to imagine alison's eyes again. trying to remember exactly how she looked sitting there on the couch, eyes a touch puffy from irritation, or her contacts... half-closed with sleep she wouldn't admit. i don't want that to slip away.

i talked to jason after work and discovered that mukala is playing judson college on the 20thof november. hoi! double hoi! we made plans and i mentioend i'd see if alison could make it. when she connected, she walked right into it.

"hey. i never got to listen to them. mukala. you promised."
"i suck. i'll make up for it! they're playing at judson college on the 20th of nov. after all..."
"aha! is that an invitation?"
"do the math!"

so... there we are. we'll be hooking up on the 20th at the concert if all goes well. later, tero said that it would qualify as a date, "Especially if it includes dinner or after-show snacks and long rides on the El talking about people you never met." I pondered. that was, after all, quite a bit of the appeal.

I'm afraid, really. afraid that i'm spiraling out of control with this whole thing the way i did with christine. God, I don't know how to like someone /halfway/. i wish i did... i want to hang out and laugh and all those casual meaninglyess friend things, but i want to brush her cheek with my thumb and smile into her eyes and give her a kiss, too.

enough of my sappiness, though. i shall remain strong.