WOW! That entry was before you introduced me to LiveJournal. I hadn't read back that far. I'm genuinely touched . . . I remember that conversation vividly. (Since it was my first time at Axis, I also remember being disappointed when I realized that the tiki-torch and free-food environment was not the usual service)!

I feel the same way. Sometimes it amazes me how what seems to be an unlikely chance encounter is so lifegiving that, years later, it's still hard to explain away. :)

I love you, man.

I have a question for you...

How do you feel about having been homeschooled and insulated from the world at large? My aunt and uncle are very religious, and my aunt is homeschooling her three sons (I think they're 3, 5 and 7 now). Now, I'm not very devout anymore (not that you didn't know that already...) and the fact that those kids are only being allowed to see the sphere of their small Pentecostal church community really worries me. And my uncle's not helping... he's somehow convincing the kids that the rest of my family (this aunt and my mom are sisters) is wicked and trying to corrupt them. My mom babysits for them fairly often, and Ben (the oldest) is extremely wary of anything she does... she put on the old B&W Little Rascals shows for them to watch, and he started telling her to turn it off because it was evil and from the devil. I'm digressing, anyway...

I'm scared that these kids are going to get older, encounter the real world, and have massive PK/MK syndrome. Did you go through something similar? Should I really be worried, or is it really no big deal?

*whistle*

That's a big question. I'll do my best to answer it. I don't feel that I was insulated from the world at large much, and that's a testament to (1) My family, (2) The particulars of the setting I was in when homeschooled, and (3) dumb luck.

My parents, while pretty religious, and pretty conservative, are relatively mellow people who believe that an emphasis on God's love for humanity and for individuals is absolutely essential. While it doesn't resolve the 'limited perspective' concern, I think their attitude towards other *people* during some of the formative times in my life helped keep me from becoming a complete loon. They are passionate about their faith, but are turned off by the hollowness of 'show religion,' if that makes any sense. I think I picked that up.

The second part of that -- the particulars of the setting -- have to do with the relatively diverse and crazy crew of homeschooled kids I hung around with at the time. There was a good 'critical mass' of other kids within 3 years of my age that I could have as a peer group. They were all Christians, but from a wide variety of churches, denominations, and political backgrounds. Staunch liberal kids who would rant about how Bush Sr. was worse than Hitler, to Ditto-heads.

And then there was just plain dumb luck.

With all that there, however, I still experienced a huge, huge crisis of faith and a spiral of confusion about the world around me when I was 18 or 19. I think I've written about it once or twice before, but a lot of it came down to my meeting more and more people (most through the net) who had wildly different beliefs and were vastly different from the stereotypes that I'd always held. Smart people -- smarter than me... Sincere people -- just as passionate and caring as I -- who simply saw the entire world through different eyes. I grappled with the question of 'Would I be a Hindu if I'd been raised in India?' and asked myself if my own beliefs would stand up to the scrutiny I subjected 'cults' to...

And a lot of what I 'knew' crumbled away. It was deeply frightening. It was a dark period in my life that lasted years.

I can look back and say that it's also one of the best things that ever happened to me.

I was a sharp, smart kid if I do say so myself. For a long time I'd coasted on my ability to convince others I was right through sheer grit and rhetorical mastery. What was left, I could ignore to eliminate cognitive dissonance. Slowly but surely those two pillars were pulled away.

I became an agnostic who desperately wanted to believe, because he desperately wanted to be certain about the world he lived in. Eventually, through random providential encounters and a couple of well timed epiphanies, things started to fall together. Discovering postmodernism and clicking with some of its core concepts helped a lot. The bigger struggle was (1) learning to have Actual Faith, rather than just intellectual certainty, and (2) realizing that humility MUST go hand in hand with conviction. An open heart and an open mind are critical.

Mmmm. That was long and spammy. Not sure if it helped. I'll try to get back on topic.

Home Schooling amplifies. If it's done well, I believe the 'isolation factor' you're concerned about will ultimately be counteracted by a hunger for knowledge and understanding that comes when someone genuinely loves to learn. The actual information they take away (in terms of various viewpoints, etc) is secondary to the way they learn to approach them.

If my own experience is any guide, these kids WILL hit that MK/PK wall at some point. The best thing you can do, in my opinion, is maintain as good a relationship as you can with them until then, demonstrate respect for their beliefs and their parents' beliefs, and love 'em. If (when) things hit the fan for these kids, people who know them and care for them -- but aren't trying to actively undermine OR prop up their long-held beliefs will be in short supply. Everyone will either want to say, "Hah! Finally, you're seeing the light!" or "No, you're being tempted and confused! Ignore the other voices!"

Anyways. Just my $.02. Don't know if it's any help at all.

--v

After having been home-schooled for about 9 out of the 12 years before going off to college, I don't think I would ever try it with my own kids. There are too many missed opportunities, and especially in a strongly religious setting can lead to a type of hand-me-down non-spirituality that takes a lot of work to figure out and shake off. Just my two cents . . .

It's actually very helpful... thanks for telling me your experiences. :)

I think it must be pretty common for kids around that age to have the supports that held up their faith to crumble... it happened to me too, and I haven't found my way back yet. I don't know if I will. It's not that I don't believe anymore, it's more that I'm a)completely put off by the attitudes of the doctrine and people in the church I grew up in; and b) much more open to new ideas now, without the time to really think about them...

It's interesting... I went to a Lutheran high school, and my friends were all rather religious people... we've all fallen into two different camps now, and the biggest factor seems to be where we went after high school. The ones who stayed at home to go to school and the ones who went to Lutheran/Christian colleges seem to have had no change in their attitude towards religion... those of us who went to secular schools seem to have fallen off the wagon more (myself most of all)... I mean, I had never met a Jewish/Muslim/Hindi/Buddhist/[religion besides Christianity] person before I got to college (and I managed to offend a lot of people with my total ignorance!). For some reason it seems like developing a broader worldview leads to a weakening of faith, at least at first...

Okay, I will stop philosophizing and get back to work now. :)